By Eddy Odivwri
I am just returning from my tailor. And I am feeling
giddy.
What are you doing with your tailor? Is it your Sallah
clothes you went for?
No, Sallah is over. I went to collect my Aso-ebi, the
uniform outfit for the inner circle club (ICC) members.
Which club is that? And what is the Aso-Ebi for?
You don’t know of the inner circle club members? You
need to see us with this latest colourful outfit. You people will bow.
What ceremony is in town?
The ceremony to celebrate the doctoral honour accorded
the mother of the nation, our dear First lady, Her Excellency, Dr, Mrs. Dame
Patience Ebele Jonathan. Or didn’t you hear that from far away Korea, her worth
and works were recognised and duly considered for a honorary doctoral
degree award, in recognition of her works in boosting the life of the
needy and the vulnerable?
Why is your mouth open? Didn’t you hear the news?
I heard the news, but is it not honorary? Is that why
there will be such elaborate fanfare ceremony fitted with Aso ebi to celebrate
it? Was it read for?
(mimicking) was it read for? Look at your mouth. Truly,
a prophet has no honour at home. And rather than applaud the noble gesture of
the Koreans, you sit here to ask silly question. Has any woman in your whole
kindred ever received an award, be it even local?
You don’t have to insult my family. And if you want me
say it, these are honours paid for. Why did ABU or UNN or even UNIPORT not give
her the award? When ASUU is on strike, functional universities are giving
awards to those who are…
(cuts in) Is it the fault of the First lady that the
stubborn ASUU members refused to listen to appeals? Is it her fault that
agreements are not kept? Would you make her miss her luck and fame because ASUU
refuses to co-operate? What kind of reasoning is that?
You mean there is nothing wrong in the First Lady of a
country travelling long hours to go and collect off-shore award from a
university whereas all the universities in her own country are shut down? You
mean that is ok?
Absolutely in order. They Korean university invited her.
They noticed her, appreciated her contributions to humanity and decided to
honour her.
QED! Or are you saying she should have turned down the
honour?
There is what is called propriety or expediency. That
was the same way the late President Umaru Yar’adua went to witness the
ground breaking ceremony of the inauguration of the King Abdallah University of
Science and Technology in Saudi Arabia at a time all Nigerian
universities had been shut for three months.
Some things are right and some aren’t. I won’t say more
than that.
I don’t care what you think. Look, the Holy writs say we
must give honour to those whom honour is due. I am telling you that in this
same country, our dear First Lady will be given national honours. None before
her has been such a rousing mobiliser of the womenfolk like her. All that will
not go unrewarded, even at home. Trust me. With her enchanting persona,
Nigerian women have never had it so good. If you are not careful, she will bag
GCO…
Cuts in) Chai! Abomination! The country will not suffer
such desecration.
When it happens, you can go to the Hague to challenge
it.
We must all begin to pray now.
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