Dead People Don't Speak, Patience: I Was Dead for 7 Days‏

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By Kayode Adebayo

L-R-President, Christian Association of Nigeria, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor praying for President Goodluck Jonathan his wife Dame Patience and his children during the resurrection thanksgiving service for the First Lady in Abuja

Yeah right, Patience. You were dead for seven days and you reincarnated from the heavens and this is your second coming. Praise the lord (Hallelujah!). We all can attest to that, with your access to Nigerian State's coffers and your ultimate escape with Nigerian tax-payers' money. But I'm baffled, Patience.

That was a very fast resurrection. A lot of people have been awaiting for Jesus' second coming all these years, how come God put you first on the list before Jesus. It must be that 'Goodluck' of yours. Special people get special treatment in heaven too, right?

Another thing that baffled me with your confession is that you and your Aso Rock crew claimed that you went on vacation. How did your vacation turn to death via a hospital? That must be a hell of vacation. You don't get that kind of vacation easily. I guess that is only available to the special people like you.

You also claimed that people have started selling your properties when you were dead for seven days. What did you expect? Did you think you were going to take the properties that you acquired with tax payers' money to heaven? 

No, Patience. Unfortunately, you will leave every property in this world like everyone else, when your time comes. There is no special or preferential treatment in heaven.

Patience, I lost a cousin in Nigeria a few days ago in one of your glorified mortuaries called hospitals in Nigeria, due to a simple sickness which could not be treated because of lack of medical equipment and medicine. 

Unlike you, however, she was not that lucky, because she did not have access to the state funds and thus could not escape on vacation like you did. Another thing, Patience, she is not coming back to this world after seven days like you did.

In the meantime, Patience, could please tell his majesty, King Jonathan to stop deceiving the people and fix the mess called hospitals in Nigeria for millions of people whose death warrants you and your husband signed? 

You may not be that lucky for a third coming, next time around.